I have long hair as a dude, and I don’t get bothered by people misgendering me in person

But online… it’s kind of weird…

Navigating the world of online gaming with a soft voice has presented its unique set of challenges for me, especially in environments like World of Warcraft (WoW). My experiences of being misgendered online and the subsequent reactions from fellow gamers upon discovering my actual gender have been both bewildering and, at times, deeply isolating. Recently, I faced a particularly disheartening moment when I was unexpectedly removed from a guild on the Horde Realm of Area 52—a guild I had believed was the perfect fit for me and had contributed significantly to positive changes in my life.

This incident, unfortunately, isn’t isolated; it’s reminiscent of past experiences where I’ve been excluded from guilds, especially during high-stress raid environments. The immediate fallout from such exclusions is a mix of frustration and sadness, not just because of the loss of a team but the severance of what I believed were burgeoning friendships.

However, amidst this turbulence, I’ve learned several valuable lessons and found silver linings that I’d like to share:

1. Finding Support in New Communities: The beauty of the vast online world is its endless possibilities for connection. After being kicked from the guild, I realized the importance of seeking out new communities that are inclusive and respectful of all members, regardless of how they present or identify. Diversifying the groups I interact with not only enhances my gaming experience but also enriches my social network.
2. Exploring New Horizons: This incident has pushed me to explore activities and hobbies outside of WoW. Whether it’s diving into Baldur’s Gate 3, dedicating more time to studying for my CS certifications, or picking up entirely new interests, I’ve discovered that there’s a whole world of passions waiting to be explored. These pursuits have provided me with a sense of progress and fulfillment that I hadn’t realized I was missing.
3. Prioritizing Self-Care and Personal Growth: The journey hasn’t been easy, but it has emphasized the importance of self-care and personal development. Reflecting on these experiences has allowed me to understand that self-worth shouldn’t be tied to the acceptance of others. Focusing on my growth, both within and outside the gaming world, has been incredibly liberating and empowering.
4. Embracing Positivity and Lessons Learned: Despite the initial hurt, these experiences have taught me resilience and the value of maintaining a positive outlook. Learning to navigate misunderstandings and rejections has made me more empathetic and understanding toward others facing similar situations. It’s a reminder that often, it’s not the setbacks that define us, but how we choose to move forward from them.

As I move forward, I remain hopeful about mending friendships and creating new ones, understanding that the path ahead is one of self-discovery and new adventures. The support of even a few can outweigh the rejection of many, and I’m excited to see where this new chapter leads me, both in gaming and in life.